How could they not notice?!?!

I read an article in Good Housekeeping about the 10 year "anniversary" of the Columbine shootings. The parents of the victims call it "The Tragedy". I wholeheartedly agree; these shootings were a tragedy, but, to me, the real tragedy lies in the fact that these parents seemed unaware of anything going in the lives of their children! Now I am not a parent yet, but I cannot comprehend how a teenage boy's guns and HUNDREDS of bombs just go unnoticed in his bedroom!!! Did no one care enough about this boy to look in his room every now and then? It's not invasion of privacy, it's concern and love! Eric Harris' parents, educators, law enforcement, etc were warned of his malicious, threatening website, but nothing was done about it. A search warrant was never filed (which was later hidden), even though he threatened the life of SPECIFIC students, including having a "hit list" on this website. I didn't know very much about this tragedy so I was doing some research online today, and I found this article. I was specifically looking for information on their parents because I just cannot fathom what made these boys do this. My comments on the article are in red. If I offend anyone, I apologize, but I think we need to stop worrying so much about who we offend in this country and start worrying about speaking up for what we see as wrong!!!


Two sets of parents reacted differently
Klebold's talked freely; Harris' were described as uncooperative, even attempting to bar police
By Lynn Bartels and Peggy LoweDenver Rocky Mountain News Staff Writers

The police who raced to the homes of the Columbine gunmen the day of the school massacre received very different reactions from the two sets of parents, according to reports released under court order Tuesday.
Tom and Sue Klebold talked freely to officers, describing their son Dylan as happy, and invited a search of their home because there was no way Dylan could ever "be involved in anything like this." Uninvolved parents are often in denial of their child's issues!
Wayne and Kathy Harris were described as uncooperative, at first barring officers from their home, one police agency reported.
"I don't want you going down there," Kathy Harris told officers headed for Eric's basement bedroom, but she relented and allowed the search to continue, according to documents contained in the 11,000-page release.
The officers found shotgun shells on Eric Harris' bed, a shotgun with a sling hanging on the side of a dresser table and a bomb lying nearby. Maybe if you went in your kid's room once in a while you may have caught this before it lead to 13 MURDERS!!!!
Kathy Harris' twin sister, Karen Shepard, talked to a Sheridan police officer.
"She said that herself, Mr. and Mrs. Harris were afraid of retaliation from the parents whom (sic) their children were killed at high school," the report says.
Wayne Harris later told another police officer that he had no reason to believe his son was involved, but offered to intervene at the school "if it were an ongoing situation."
The report released by the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office contains an interview the Klebolds gave to police 10 days after the April 20, 1999 shootings.
"The Klebolds indicated that Dylan was gentle and was that way until the day he died," the report says.
But in the mountain of documents, there is no copy of the interview the Harrises gave investigators after months of negotiations. The sheriff's office referred questions about the omission to the district attorney, which said it was up to the sheriff's office to say why there was no record of the interview.
The report also contains interviews with the gunmen's teachers and friends and offers insights into the boys' sometimes rocky relationship with their parents.
The Klebolds were quick to defend their son, according to the report, once dismissing a violent essay he wrote and another time protesting his three-day suspension from Columbine. The kid writes a violent essay and you dismiss it???? REALLY????
The Harrises had confiscated a pipe bomb from their son. Eric told friends and co-workers that his father accused him of being on LSD, and that he was often grounded, but he didn't say why. A PIPE BOMB????????????????????? RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!!!
Kathy Harris told her hairdresser she felt sorry for Eric because he couldn't find a prom date.
"Sometimes being a teen-ager really sucks," Eric told his mom, according to the hairdresser.
At the Harris home, police found on the kitchen table a handwritten note outlining an "itinerary" of the April 20 assault and a microcassette player. "oh that's just a funny drawing my kid made...he's so cute"
Labeled "Nixon," the tape carries the voice of Eric Harris, with him saying it was made nine hours before the attack.
"People will die because of me," he says on the tape. "It will be a day that will be remembered forever."
The report is the first glimpse into Wayne and Kathy Harris' initial response to the shootings. They, family members or friends have never publicly talked of the attack.
The Klebolds also have not spoken publicly, but their friends have openly defended them as good parents and offered more insight into their lives.
The Klebolds met with the police and district attorney on April 30, 1999, in their attorney's office.
"Mr. Klebold said that he and his wife were not absentee parents and that that they were always there for him," Jefferson County investigator Kate Battan wrote.
The Klebolds described their son as "extraordinarily shy."
Tom Klebold said he asked his son if people picked on him in high school and Dylan told him no, pointing out he was 6-foot-4 and so wasn't a target. But, Klebold said, Dylan told them that people picked on Harris.
The Klebolds did not have the impression that one boy was the "leader" over the other, but they said Harris would get mad at their son if Dylan "screwed up something."
The Klebolds said they had not seen Harris for about six months when he came over to spend the night with their son on April 16, the Friday before the Tuesday shootings.
It was about 10:30 p.m. and Harris was carrying a nylon duffle bag "stuffed with something." "hey kid, what's in the bag?" You have no right to privacy in MY HOUSE!!!!
"The Klebolds indicated that it was awkward for Eric to carry this and that he had to use both hands. Mr. Klebold said he assumed it was a computer in the bag," Battan said.
Harris was empty-handed when he left the next morning. "hey kid, what happended to that bag???"
That night the high school seniors made a video of themselves in Klebold's bedroom, showing off their weaponry and boasting of their plans to attack the school.
Tom Klebold said he didn't go into his son's room often (umm maybe you should have, you know, said hi or something every now and then....maybe then those 12 other kids' parents could say hi to them now), though he had gone in two weeks prior to the shooting to turn off the computer.
Tom Klebold said he would like copies of anything that was on his son's computer or any diary that he might have left. AGAIN, why weren't you reading this stuff already?????? I'm sorry, but I don't think a teenager has a right to this much privacy!!!!
"The Klebolds indicated they would like to know about any writings by Dylan to help then understand what had happened on April 20th." Where was your interest BEFORE he MURDERED 13 PEOPLE?!?!?!
Also in the report, Peter Horvath, the dean of students, told investigators that one of the first punishments he handed out when he started working at Columbine in 1997 was to suspend Klebold, Harris and a third student for hacking into the school's computer system and stealing locker combinations.
Horvath said all three boys' parents protested the suspensions. Protested???? I think I would ask for a couple more days just to really stick it to them!!! But maybe I'm just a CARING parent!!!! He described Harris' parents as cooperative but critical of the punishment because of their son's "minor" involvement.
Horvath met with Tom Klebold, whom he described as very intelligent, "an Einstein." Tom Klebold disagreed with suspensions in general.
Eric Harris stayed out of trouble and Horvath's office, but Dylan Klebold returned in 1998 for trying to scratch something into a freshman's locker door. Horvath said Dylan Klebold became "very agitated" while they waited for Tom Klebold to arrive, leading him to believe the father and son had problems. ya think?!?!

Contact Lynn Bartels at (303) 892-5405 or bartelsl@RockyMountainNews.com. Contact Peggy Lowe at (303) 892-5482 or lowep@RockyMountainNews.com.
November 22, 2000

SELLING MY SOUL!!!! (aka We're buying a house!)

I have been renting apartments/houses since I was 17 years old! I have had nice ones, really nice ones, scary ones (saw a guy fire a gun at someone in the parking of one of my USC apartments) to disgusting ones (a mushroom was growing out of the bathroom cabinet....seriously). Now, finally, after 13 years of Uhauls, my husband and I are going to buy our first house in just a few short months!!! We are beyond excited...also beyond terrified....but overall just ready to have something to call our own that doesn't require a pet deposit or a gas mask (I'm serious about that mushroom, there are pictures)!
We are officially approved for our loan so now we know what we can afford. We know we want to buy in South Carolina since the property taxes and insurance are so much lower, and so are the home prices! We have some things that are must haves (fireplace, deck, fenced yard) and some really, really wants (garden tub, hardwoods). The next decisions are the tricky ones...do we want an established subdivision? An older home with charm and character that can be fixed up? A newer home that just needs some paint on the walls? With the older home comes possible repairs...the water heater goes out, the ac goes out, the floor goes out. The newer home, while more reliable for repairs and probably a warranty to back them up, may lack the character. My parents are divorced and the reasons why are becoming completely apparent as they have completely different opinions on this process. Mom says go for the older, fixer-upper that way we can customize it. She forgets that we are basically dropping every dime (and some nickels) we have on the down payment so we will be cash poor! Dad votes for the more reliable, newer home that comes with a warranty. While this is practical advice, he also does not see our side of wanting charm and not cookie cutter!
The whole process is confusing as $%*# to us! We don't know an FHA from an FDA! We know enough to not get swindled and to know what we can afford, we know what we want and what we don't want...that's about it.
So feel free to share your advice. Don't do this....do that....watch for this....or even if you know of a neighborhood we would like in the Rock Hill/Fort Mill/Lake Wylie areas. Watch for the fall blog post with the invite to the housewarming party! (fingers crossed!!!) :-)

cakes and a slutty husband...

One night on the sofa while watching television and playing on Facebook I had an interesting conversation with my husband. I was looking through the pictures a girl I knew from high school had posted. See she makes cakes now....wedding, birthday, shower, etc (Charlotte Rogers Jackson...she lives in Clover...AWESOME cakes!!!)

I said to my husband (part serious, part joking, part STRONG suggestion)...

• Me: "these cakes look awesome, you should have her make me one for my 30th birthday this year :-)"
• Andrew: "that would be weird for my ex-girlfriend to make a cake for my wife"
• Me: umm what?!?!? "You dated Charlotte??? When???"
• Andrew: "10th grade I think"
• Me: "So who else did you date?"
• Andrew: "Brooke ____, Leslee _____, ......." etc, etc............
• Me: "Did you kiss this girl?"
• Andrew: "Hmm, I don't think so"

My husband was a big ol' slut!!!!!!! I had NO IDEA he dated all of these girls!!! Now in his defense (and their honor) he only dated most of them for a couple of months and all he did with most of them was make out...but still!!! You made out with so many people you couldn't even remember all of them?!?

Even though I went to high school with my husband (note: we dated most of 9th grade....further note: we never "made out") I didn't know about this because the guy I dated after Andrew for pretty much the rest of high school did not like Andrew so we never hung out. I am not sure how I never knew this until recently. You think it would have come up in a truth or dare game at some point right?! Should I have surveyed the classes of Clover High School 96, 97, 98 and 99??? This conversation led to a status update on Facebook that led to a FULL TWO DAYS of conversations about it throughout Facebook with people that both went to Clover and did not! It was hillarious!!!....and just a little embarassing for my hubby! :-P

I have to admit though, all of this bothered me a little bit. I know, it was AGES ago and it was HIGH SCHOOL but it's still weird to think "wow, that girl has made out with my husband". Not weird to the point of affecting any relationships, but still a little odd. I got over it quickly of course but am I the only one that this has bothered??? Surely not! I think it was weirder for me because I knew the girls. I think it would have been less weird had it been just random names without faces to match. So does your spouse's past bother you? Maybe they dont' have much past and that bothers you? Maybe their past is still around? I bet there are going to be a few over dinner conversations tonight now huh?!?!?! :-)

And by the way, I am enjoying saying to my husband "so who'd you make out with today?!?" It's fun and I totally recommend it! :-)

Where oh where do we go?!

We are moving....well, we want to....but where do we go??????
Let me start at the beginning (a very good place to start haha) My husband and I have known each other since 8th grade (about 16 years for you math-impaired people) and we have both pretty much lived in this area - Charlotte, NC - our whole lives. I ventured out a little for college but only left NC/SC for a semester (I went to school in Wayne, NJ, just outside of NYC for a semester...whole other post in itself).
So our lease is up in August of this year and we want to move AWAY....FAR AWAY!!! We need a fresh start in a fresh place where we don't have the baggage that we have here (see the What happened to friendship? post to explain that). We're not exactly running away but just starting a new adventure on our own. So, here's the problem....where do we go???????????????
First let me explain my LOVE, if not infatuation, for New York City!!!! I have wanted to live here for twenty years! It is an amazing city with endless possibility and opportunity....along with endless rents...which is why I don't live there nor have I ever! We talked about moving there but it would take us saving about $5,000, just to cover the deposits and maybe the moving expenses. That's not even remotely taking into account the amount of money we would pay for rent while living there. We are definitely willing to live in Brooklyn or another outer burrough but we would still be paying through the nose for even these places! OPTION #1 - So we talked about somewhere in New York state or even New Jersey. That way we could at least get into the city whenever we wanted, but it's expensive to live there, too. And how much would we go into the city? Would it be worth it? Because technically we would be living in a more expensive smaller city/town just to be close to THE city (not the Whitney Port show mind you) Would that be a lifestyle we would want? Or would it be totally worth it to be so close to the city and still have a backyard??? Is this doable? (Insert opinions here)
OPTION #2 - By my love for NYC, you can tell I love big cities so we are also considering just moving to a big city (just not THAT big). We have talked about Denver, Colorado quite a bit because we both LOVE mountains and big cities so it's the best of both worlds! Denver has an amazing reputation for being a very "livable" place. So far I haven't read anything about it that I don't like...but that's just it, never been there. I'm not opposed to just up and moving somewhere I have never been, especially since Denver sounds fabulous, but would this be a mistake? Would we like Denver? How do we know if we would or not? I know what you're thinking..."just go visit"...well unless you're going to pay for that trip, quit bossing me around! Kidding! But seriously, would we like it? If not Denver, what other cities? I thought about Seattle....would we like it there? or Portland?
(here's some extra info, for those of you that don't know us and may respond to this....we have been married for a little over a year and have no kids as of yet. We are social people and love to hang out with friends having a few drinks, playing games, etc. We love outdoor activities like camping, swimming, etc. Neither of us likes hot weather so we need somewhere above the Mason Dixon that actually gets winter and SNOW! We like to shop and eat out so we definitely need a strong metro area! Feel free to ask questions beyond that)
SO....opinions please?!?!?!? Do you have a favorite city? Have a suggestion? Have a place to avoid? Think we're crazy? Give me some feedback....

Losing the love of your life...

My Grandfather is 84 years old and unfortunately, not in very good health. He has been through being shot in the head in WWII where only his helmet saved his life, cancer, heart surgery, diabetes, etc, etc. He is a strong, humorous, admirable man. Well today he lost someone who we all consider to be, aside from my Grandmother, the love of his life, his sweet Chihuahua, Susie.
Susie (full name being "Brown-eyed Susie" because she had a brown patch of hair around one eye and that's my Grandfather's sense of humor) was one of those Chihuahuas that was only sweet to the people she knew or liked. She growled at my cousin every time she walked in the room! My aunt and I were the only ones besides my Grandfather that could hold and snuggle with her. I LOVED that dog!!! She would nuzzle all over my neck and kiss my nose, snorting the whole time! In fact, I held her just yesterday while she did this, leaving white hair all over me, with no complaints from me! Well today she died of heart failure on the way to the vet. She was only eight years old and dearly, dearly loved!!!!
My other cousin's Chihuahua came from the same puppy mill as Susie (we didn't know it was that at the time). She died earlier this year of something similar and untimely. My point in mentioning this is to remind and beg all of you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE consider where you buy your dogs!!!!! If you can, adopt but PLEASE do not support these puppy mills!!!! These dogs were inbred, which is the reason for their poor health! I don't mean to preach but this has to stop!
I'll step off of my soap box and just ask for your prayers for my Grandfather and his broken heart! If you know of a dog that would love him and enjoy being loved by him, please let me know!

What the hell are we going to do for New Years?

I figured I would just get right to the point with that title. Why beat around the bush?! But seriously, what the hell are we going to do???? It's a lot of pressure deciding what to do. Supposedly what you're doing at midnight is what you will be doing for the majority of the year....or something like that. I don't know how true that is but it is an important night for "plans". Your cool quotient rides a little bit on that. Deny it all you want but if you're sitting at home watching Dick and nodding off on the couch at 11:30, you feel a little less "cool". But how "cool" is it to pay $30 (and up!!!) to get into a bar that was free to get into last week, only to push your way through hundreds of strangers to get a $5 beer every hour or so that you actually manage to get the bartender's attention?!?! You could have a party at someone's house.... too many people, and it's cops showing up and neighbors pissed off...too few people, and you're back to that nodding off with Dick thing. So what do you do?????????????

For those of you who may not know, I live in Charlotte, NC. We have plenty of bars and cool restaurants to choose from. I have a decent amount of people I know that live here......yet here we are two weeks away from New Years Eve and I have nothing planned! My husband and I were invited to a friend's get together but she lives kind of far out from us, which would put us out with the crazies. We like to stay as close to where we live as we can....it just cuts down on the potential for drama. But we do live in a great area with close proximity to lots of choices ($15 cab ride to uptown) so we're not limited there.....it just brings us back to the "cool" but expensive bar. We have a few people that are planning to join us...once we all decide what to do....but we're not sure that we have enough to have that party that falls between the pissed off neighbors and nodding off number. None of us have children yet so we want to do something fun that hopefully involves a decent amount of alcohol while we still can!
So again I ask, what do we do??? What are your plans? What have you done in the past? If you didn't have kids now what would you do? Any suggestions, ideas, invites ;-), recommendations would be greatly appreciated....

Romantic/Sexy/Hot/Insert your own adjective songs

My husband and I make a weekend mountain trip every December. We've been making this trip since before we were married so this year marks the 4th annual. We always make sure we have some sort of hot tub and/or jacuzzi where we stay because that defines relaxation for us.....and it's....well.....romantic....I'll leave it at that. Music adds to this romantic mood so we always make a CD/playlist to listen to. This year I am stuck! I can't find the old cd's we used to use (first year we have MP3 players) and for the life of me, I can't remember what songs we usually include. I tried to Google this topic last night and found myself feeling very.....disturbed...to say the least! (People really listen to "Particle Man" by They Might be Giants for this sort of occassion???)
SO....I need ideas!!! Tell me what you like, what you recommend, what you have on your own special playlist. I don't like cheesy (one I saw was "Up Where We Belong" ewww) or cliche ("Let's Get It On") or dirty ("Freak Me" Silk)
Sultry and sexy is what we want.....("Anytime Anyplace" Janet Jackson...."Feelin' Love" Paula Cole - HOT song if you've never heard it)
Ideas people......keep 'em coming!