I’m not even going to pretend not to be hurt by hardly any of our friends, or even our “friends”, planning to come to our Housewarming Party. I'm completely devastated. Maybe you have other, more important things to do. Or maybe you couldn’t get a sitter. Or maybe your car is out of sorts and you live out of town and you think your dog might get sick. Or maybe you just don’t want to. Whatever excuse you gave (some were justified of course, and I understand that!) or didn’t even bother to give, I don’t think you can call yourself a TRUE friend of ours if you can’t be there to celebrate our new home. And for some of you, not even acknowlege it!!! If you didn’t want to bring a gift but you thought we were expecting that, why couldn’t you talk to us about that? Or if you weren’t comfortable with that at least make up some other excuse. The majority of what we thought were GOOD friends didn’t even respond! If you think we are that shallow and greedy that we were just inviting people to get gifts then you probably aren’t friends with us anyway, or at least you shouldn't think you are. We actually are fortunate enough to not need anything for our house. And the things we do need, we would never expect someone to buy for us because they are expensive and it is, after all, our house. Therefore, our responsibility! We simply wanted to invite our friends and family over to our house to celebrate this huge accomplishment for us and to enjoy your company!
I don’t even know what the reason is for people just ignoring our invitation. Maybe we just don’t have the friends we thought. I’m sorry if this hurts people’s feelings or makes someone mad, but I’m mad! My feelings are VERY HURT!!!! And I’m so sick and tired of pretending not to be hurt so that I don’t upset someone else!!!!! I’ve been accused of complaining too much on Facebook. Well maybe I’m upset!!!! Did anyone ever think of that? Did anyone ever think enough of me to say “are you okay?”???? Yes, a few of you did and I greatly appreciate you!!! But to those of you who bitched about it or just deleted me altogether, you can’t call yourself a friend at all. I feel as if I am held to a different standard than others. I see MANY of you complaining or being rude or self-righteous or arrogant on Facebook and nobody says anything. In fact, you get applause or comfort or agreement with your feelings! Whereas I, on the other hand, seem to get ridiculed and judged for my feelings! I am no different than any of you! I have the same feelings and needs and wants! I feel hurt right now. I need friendships that I can count on! I want to feel loved and appreciated just like everyone else does!!! And maybe I complain about it, but by just blowing me off or ignoring me or even complaining about my complaints you make things worse for me by making me feel more alone and isolated. Right now, I feel as if I have no friends in the whole world! Maybe you think I’m just feeling sorry for myself or looking at the negative or complaining even more, but this is how I feel!!! I would think that those who truly care about me would be understanding, not judgmental! We reached out for help to paint our house and those of you who said “let me know if I can help” were nowhere to be found when the help was needed. I know that nobody wants to spend their Saturday painting someone else’s house, but we would do it for you!!! And for many of you, we have helped with things like this! We had several people that did step up and help us and we cannot tell them how much we appreciate it!!!! That’s part of why we wanted to have this party. To thank those of you who have been there for us through this process. We even invited those of you who let us down! I can see where you wouldn’t want to paint, but we’re offering food and fun at a party and you can’t show up for that???? I don’t even know how to deal with that.
The party is now cancelled so you are all off the hook. Thanks again to those of you that responded and wanted to be there! Please don't think you went unnoticed!!! We appreciate it more than you can know!
Hopefully, my true friends will read this with compassion and understanding. I cannot worry about how the rest of you feel anymore, I don't have the strength!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
How could they not notice?!?!
I read an article in Good Housekeeping about the 10 year "anniversary" of the Columbine shootings. The parents of the victims call it "The Tragedy". I wholeheartedly agree; these shootings were a tragedy, but, to me, the real tragedy lies in the fact that these parents seemed unaware of anything going in the lives of their children! Now I am not a parent yet, but I cannot comprehend how a teenage boy's guns and HUNDREDS of bombs just go unnoticed in his bedroom!!! Did no one care enough about this boy to look in his room every now and then? It's not invasion of privacy, it's concern and love! Eric Harris' parents, educators, law enforcement, etc were warned of his malicious, threatening website, but nothing was done about it. A search warrant was never filed (which was later hidden), even though he threatened the life of SPECIFIC students, including having a "hit list" on this website. I didn't know very much about this tragedy so I was doing some research online today, and I found this article. I was specifically looking for information on their parents because I just cannot fathom what made these boys do this. My comments on the article are in red. If I offend anyone, I apologize, but I think we need to stop worrying so much about who we offend in this country and start worrying about speaking up for what we see as wrong!!!
Two sets of parents reacted differently
Klebold's talked freely; Harris' were described as uncooperative, even attempting to bar police
By Lynn Bartels and Peggy LoweDenver Rocky Mountain News Staff Writers
The police who raced to the homes of the Columbine gunmen the day of the school massacre received very different reactions from the two sets of parents, according to reports released under court order Tuesday.
Tom and Sue Klebold talked freely to officers, describing their son Dylan as happy, and invited a search of their home because there was no way Dylan could ever "be involved in anything like this." Uninvolved parents are often in denial of their child's issues!
Wayne and Kathy Harris were described as uncooperative, at first barring officers from their home, one police agency reported.
"I don't want you going down there," Kathy Harris told officers headed for Eric's basement bedroom, but she relented and allowed the search to continue, according to documents contained in the 11,000-page release.
The officers found shotgun shells on Eric Harris' bed, a shotgun with a sling hanging on the side of a dresser table and a bomb lying nearby. Maybe if you went in your kid's room once in a while you may have caught this before it lead to 13 MURDERS!!!!
Kathy Harris' twin sister, Karen Shepard, talked to a Sheridan police officer.
"She said that herself, Mr. and Mrs. Harris were afraid of retaliation from the parents whom (sic) their children were killed at high school," the report says.
Wayne Harris later told another police officer that he had no reason to believe his son was involved, but offered to intervene at the school "if it were an ongoing situation."
The report released by the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office contains an interview the Klebolds gave to police 10 days after the April 20, 1999 shootings.
"The Klebolds indicated that Dylan was gentle and was that way until the day he died," the report says.
But in the mountain of documents, there is no copy of the interview the Harrises gave investigators after months of negotiations. The sheriff's office referred questions about the omission to the district attorney, which said it was up to the sheriff's office to say why there was no record of the interview.
The report also contains interviews with the gunmen's teachers and friends and offers insights into the boys' sometimes rocky relationship with their parents.
The Klebolds were quick to defend their son, according to the report, once dismissing a violent essay he wrote and another time protesting his three-day suspension from Columbine. The kid writes a violent essay and you dismiss it???? REALLY????
The Harrises had confiscated a pipe bomb from their son. Eric told friends and co-workers that his father accused him of being on LSD, and that he was often grounded, but he didn't say why. A PIPE BOMB????????????????????? RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!!!
Kathy Harris told her hairdresser she felt sorry for Eric because he couldn't find a prom date.
"Sometimes being a teen-ager really sucks," Eric told his mom, according to the hairdresser.
At the Harris home, police found on the kitchen table a handwritten note outlining an "itinerary" of the April 20 assault and a microcassette player. "oh that's just a funny drawing my kid made...he's so cute"
Labeled "Nixon," the tape carries the voice of Eric Harris, with him saying it was made nine hours before the attack.
"People will die because of me," he says on the tape. "It will be a day that will be remembered forever."
The report is the first glimpse into Wayne and Kathy Harris' initial response to the shootings. They, family members or friends have never publicly talked of the attack.
The Klebolds also have not spoken publicly, but their friends have openly defended them as good parents and offered more insight into their lives.
The Klebolds met with the police and district attorney on April 30, 1999, in their attorney's office.
"Mr. Klebold said that he and his wife were not absentee parents and that that they were always there for him," Jefferson County investigator Kate Battan wrote.
The Klebolds described their son as "extraordinarily shy."
Tom Klebold said he asked his son if people picked on him in high school and Dylan told him no, pointing out he was 6-foot-4 and so wasn't a target. But, Klebold said, Dylan told them that people picked on Harris.
The Klebolds did not have the impression that one boy was the "leader" over the other, but they said Harris would get mad at their son if Dylan "screwed up something."
The Klebolds said they had not seen Harris for about six months when he came over to spend the night with their son on April 16, the Friday before the Tuesday shootings.
It was about 10:30 p.m. and Harris was carrying a nylon duffle bag "stuffed with something." "hey kid, what's in the bag?" You have no right to privacy in MY HOUSE!!!!
"The Klebolds indicated that it was awkward for Eric to carry this and that he had to use both hands. Mr. Klebold said he assumed it was a computer in the bag," Battan said.
Harris was empty-handed when he left the next morning. "hey kid, what happended to that bag???"
That night the high school seniors made a video of themselves in Klebold's bedroom, showing off their weaponry and boasting of their plans to attack the school.
Tom Klebold said he didn't go into his son's room often (umm maybe you should have, you know, said hi or something every now and then....maybe then those 12 other kids' parents could say hi to them now), though he had gone in two weeks prior to the shooting to turn off the computer.
Tom Klebold said he would like copies of anything that was on his son's computer or any diary that he might have left. AGAIN, why weren't you reading this stuff already?????? I'm sorry, but I don't think a teenager has a right to this much privacy!!!!
"The Klebolds indicated they would like to know about any writings by Dylan to help then understand what had happened on April 20th." Where was your interest BEFORE he MURDERED 13 PEOPLE?!?!?!
Also in the report, Peter Horvath, the dean of students, told investigators that one of the first punishments he handed out when he started working at Columbine in 1997 was to suspend Klebold, Harris and a third student for hacking into the school's computer system and stealing locker combinations.
Horvath said all three boys' parents protested the suspensions. Protested???? I think I would ask for a couple more days just to really stick it to them!!! But maybe I'm just a CARING parent!!!! He described Harris' parents as cooperative but critical of the punishment because of their son's "minor" involvement.
Horvath met with Tom Klebold, whom he described as very intelligent, "an Einstein." Tom Klebold disagreed with suspensions in general.
Eric Harris stayed out of trouble and Horvath's office, but Dylan Klebold returned in 1998 for trying to scratch something into a freshman's locker door. Horvath said Dylan Klebold became "very agitated" while they waited for Tom Klebold to arrive, leading him to believe the father and son had problems. ya think?!?!
Contact Lynn Bartels at (303) 892-5405 or bartelsl@RockyMountainNews.com. Contact Peggy Lowe at (303) 892-5482 or lowep@RockyMountainNews.com.
November 22, 2000
Two sets of parents reacted differently
Klebold's talked freely; Harris' were described as uncooperative, even attempting to bar police
By Lynn Bartels and Peggy LoweDenver Rocky Mountain News Staff Writers
The police who raced to the homes of the Columbine gunmen the day of the school massacre received very different reactions from the two sets of parents, according to reports released under court order Tuesday.
Tom and Sue Klebold talked freely to officers, describing their son Dylan as happy, and invited a search of their home because there was no way Dylan could ever "be involved in anything like this." Uninvolved parents are often in denial of their child's issues!
Wayne and Kathy Harris were described as uncooperative, at first barring officers from their home, one police agency reported.
"I don't want you going down there," Kathy Harris told officers headed for Eric's basement bedroom, but she relented and allowed the search to continue, according to documents contained in the 11,000-page release.
The officers found shotgun shells on Eric Harris' bed, a shotgun with a sling hanging on the side of a dresser table and a bomb lying nearby. Maybe if you went in your kid's room once in a while you may have caught this before it lead to 13 MURDERS!!!!
Kathy Harris' twin sister, Karen Shepard, talked to a Sheridan police officer.
"She said that herself, Mr. and Mrs. Harris were afraid of retaliation from the parents whom (sic) their children were killed at high school," the report says.
Wayne Harris later told another police officer that he had no reason to believe his son was involved, but offered to intervene at the school "if it were an ongoing situation."
The report released by the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office contains an interview the Klebolds gave to police 10 days after the April 20, 1999 shootings.
"The Klebolds indicated that Dylan was gentle and was that way until the day he died," the report says.
But in the mountain of documents, there is no copy of the interview the Harrises gave investigators after months of negotiations. The sheriff's office referred questions about the omission to the district attorney, which said it was up to the sheriff's office to say why there was no record of the interview.
The report also contains interviews with the gunmen's teachers and friends and offers insights into the boys' sometimes rocky relationship with their parents.
The Klebolds were quick to defend their son, according to the report, once dismissing a violent essay he wrote and another time protesting his three-day suspension from Columbine. The kid writes a violent essay and you dismiss it???? REALLY????
The Harrises had confiscated a pipe bomb from their son. Eric told friends and co-workers that his father accused him of being on LSD, and that he was often grounded, but he didn't say why. A PIPE BOMB????????????????????? RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!!!
Kathy Harris told her hairdresser she felt sorry for Eric because he couldn't find a prom date.
"Sometimes being a teen-ager really sucks," Eric told his mom, according to the hairdresser.
At the Harris home, police found on the kitchen table a handwritten note outlining an "itinerary" of the April 20 assault and a microcassette player. "oh that's just a funny drawing my kid made...he's so cute"
Labeled "Nixon," the tape carries the voice of Eric Harris, with him saying it was made nine hours before the attack.
"People will die because of me," he says on the tape. "It will be a day that will be remembered forever."
The report is the first glimpse into Wayne and Kathy Harris' initial response to the shootings. They, family members or friends have never publicly talked of the attack.
The Klebolds also have not spoken publicly, but their friends have openly defended them as good parents and offered more insight into their lives.
The Klebolds met with the police and district attorney on April 30, 1999, in their attorney's office.
"Mr. Klebold said that he and his wife were not absentee parents and that that they were always there for him," Jefferson County investigator Kate Battan wrote.
The Klebolds described their son as "extraordinarily shy."
Tom Klebold said he asked his son if people picked on him in high school and Dylan told him no, pointing out he was 6-foot-4 and so wasn't a target. But, Klebold said, Dylan told them that people picked on Harris.
The Klebolds did not have the impression that one boy was the "leader" over the other, but they said Harris would get mad at their son if Dylan "screwed up something."
The Klebolds said they had not seen Harris for about six months when he came over to spend the night with their son on April 16, the Friday before the Tuesday shootings.
It was about 10:30 p.m. and Harris was carrying a nylon duffle bag "stuffed with something." "hey kid, what's in the bag?" You have no right to privacy in MY HOUSE!!!!
"The Klebolds indicated that it was awkward for Eric to carry this and that he had to use both hands. Mr. Klebold said he assumed it was a computer in the bag," Battan said.
Harris was empty-handed when he left the next morning. "hey kid, what happended to that bag???"
That night the high school seniors made a video of themselves in Klebold's bedroom, showing off their weaponry and boasting of their plans to attack the school.
Tom Klebold said he didn't go into his son's room often (umm maybe you should have, you know, said hi or something every now and then....maybe then those 12 other kids' parents could say hi to them now), though he had gone in two weeks prior to the shooting to turn off the computer.
Tom Klebold said he would like copies of anything that was on his son's computer or any diary that he might have left. AGAIN, why weren't you reading this stuff already?????? I'm sorry, but I don't think a teenager has a right to this much privacy!!!!
"The Klebolds indicated they would like to know about any writings by Dylan to help then understand what had happened on April 20th." Where was your interest BEFORE he MURDERED 13 PEOPLE?!?!?!
Also in the report, Peter Horvath, the dean of students, told investigators that one of the first punishments he handed out when he started working at Columbine in 1997 was to suspend Klebold, Harris and a third student for hacking into the school's computer system and stealing locker combinations.
Horvath said all three boys' parents protested the suspensions. Protested???? I think I would ask for a couple more days just to really stick it to them!!! But maybe I'm just a CARING parent!!!! He described Harris' parents as cooperative but critical of the punishment because of their son's "minor" involvement.
Horvath met with Tom Klebold, whom he described as very intelligent, "an Einstein." Tom Klebold disagreed with suspensions in general.
Eric Harris stayed out of trouble and Horvath's office, but Dylan Klebold returned in 1998 for trying to scratch something into a freshman's locker door. Horvath said Dylan Klebold became "very agitated" while they waited for Tom Klebold to arrive, leading him to believe the father and son had problems. ya think?!?!
Contact Lynn Bartels at (303) 892-5405 or bartelsl@RockyMountainNews.com. Contact Peggy Lowe at (303) 892-5482 or lowep@RockyMountainNews.com.
November 22, 2000
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
SELLING MY SOUL!!!! (aka We're buying a house!)
I have been renting apartments/houses since I was 17 years old! I have had nice ones, really nice ones, scary ones (saw a guy fire a gun at someone in the parking of one of my USC apartments) to disgusting ones (a mushroom was growing out of the bathroom cabinet....seriously). Now, finally, after 13 years of Uhauls, my husband and I are going to buy our first house in just a few short months!!! We are beyond excited...also beyond terrified....but overall just ready to have something to call our own that doesn't require a pet deposit or a gas mask (I'm serious about that mushroom, there are pictures)!
We are officially approved for our loan so now we know what we can afford. We know we want to buy in South Carolina since the property taxes and insurance are so much lower, and so are the home prices! We have some things that are must haves (fireplace, deck, fenced yard) and some really, really wants (garden tub, hardwoods). The next decisions are the tricky ones...do we want an established subdivision? An older home with charm and character that can be fixed up? A newer home that just needs some paint on the walls? With the older home comes possible repairs...the water heater goes out, the ac goes out, the floor goes out. The newer home, while more reliable for repairs and probably a warranty to back them up, may lack the character. My parents are divorced and the reasons why are becoming completely apparent as they have completely different opinions on this process. Mom says go for the older, fixer-upper that way we can customize it. She forgets that we are basically dropping every dime (and some nickels) we have on the down payment so we will be cash poor! Dad votes for the more reliable, newer home that comes with a warranty. While this is practical advice, he also does not see our side of wanting charm and not cookie cutter!
The whole process is confusing as $%*# to us! We don't know an FHA from an FDA! We know enough to not get swindled and to know what we can afford, we know what we want and what we don't want...that's about it.
So feel free to share your advice. Don't do this....do that....watch for this....or even if you know of a neighborhood we would like in the Rock Hill/Fort Mill/Lake Wylie areas. Watch for the fall blog post with the invite to the housewarming party! (fingers crossed!!!) :-)
We are officially approved for our loan so now we know what we can afford. We know we want to buy in South Carolina since the property taxes and insurance are so much lower, and so are the home prices! We have some things that are must haves (fireplace, deck, fenced yard) and some really, really wants (garden tub, hardwoods). The next decisions are the tricky ones...do we want an established subdivision? An older home with charm and character that can be fixed up? A newer home that just needs some paint on the walls? With the older home comes possible repairs...the water heater goes out, the ac goes out, the floor goes out. The newer home, while more reliable for repairs and probably a warranty to back them up, may lack the character. My parents are divorced and the reasons why are becoming completely apparent as they have completely different opinions on this process. Mom says go for the older, fixer-upper that way we can customize it. She forgets that we are basically dropping every dime (and some nickels) we have on the down payment so we will be cash poor! Dad votes for the more reliable, newer home that comes with a warranty. While this is practical advice, he also does not see our side of wanting charm and not cookie cutter!
The whole process is confusing as $%*# to us! We don't know an FHA from an FDA! We know enough to not get swindled and to know what we can afford, we know what we want and what we don't want...that's about it.
So feel free to share your advice. Don't do this....do that....watch for this....or even if you know of a neighborhood we would like in the Rock Hill/Fort Mill/Lake Wylie areas. Watch for the fall blog post with the invite to the housewarming party! (fingers crossed!!!) :-)
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