It's Chrimmus!!!!

I LOVE the holidays!!! No really, I LOVE the Holidays!!!! As of next week I will officially become a 10 year old (well..more of one)! I actually giggle at stuff and clap my hands! (Go ahead and laugh at me, I don't care) I just love everything about it....it's cold outside and there's always that slight possibility of snow, unlike some people I love the music and don't get tired of it, I google the holiday tv schedule about two months out so that I don't miss Charlie Brown or Frosty not to mention the ABC Family made for tv holiday movie (the one with Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez where she kidnaps him is really cute...and Three Days is great too!), I love to bake anyway but now I actually get to give my baked goods as gifts and not look odd, everything is sparkly and pretty......etc, etc, etc (do you want me to go on? yeah I didn't think so)
Anway, there's really no major point to any of this....just thought I would get my excitement out before I just burst and tinsel flies everywhere. If anybody wants to have a "baking day", "shopping day", "decorating day" etc, etc I am totally up for it, just let me know when and where!!!

My one election thought

I only have one comment on the results of this publicity monster that some called an election...I HOPE that Barack Obama brings the CHANGE that he is promising!!!
But just in case he doesn't, I voted for McCain :-)

Job or not to job?!

I went to USC and got a Bachelors Degree. Then I went back to school and got my Paralegal Certificate. All so I could work as a %#@& secretary!!!!!!
I got a job as a Legal Assistant with a law firm because I figured it would at least say law firm on my resume, even if it was Legal Assistant instead of Paralegal. Little did I know I would spend my ENTIRE DAY either doing nothing at all or typing dictated letters!!! I am doing the job someone that barely graduated high school could handle! I need absolutely no degree or skill level (besides typing) to do this job, much less the TWO degrees that I have! It infuriates me that I was even called in to interview for this job, as it is clearly below the skill level that I have. This should have been obvious by my resume with the significant work experience that I have, not to mention the 3.9 GPA I had in my Paralegal program! I am not trying to sound pompous, but nobody should ever work a job that they are too qualified for because you end the day feeling unfulfilled and under-stimulated, turning your mind into mush because you aren’t challenged! You teachers know this well when you see it in a student…they start to act out and get annoyed when you ask them to do anything because they’re so bored! This is what I am turning into!!!
I could probably deal with this if I maybe had great pay or fantastic co-workers…I have neither! I won’t elaborate on the pay, but my office consists of me and two attorneys. That’s it. Yep, three people. So no lunch dates or drinks after work or gift exchanges for the holidays, etc, etc. You can’t exactly have a holiday party with three people and their spouses. I really didn’t think I would mind this but I really, really do! Nobody to gossip with at work?! Can you imagine?!?!?!
To top all of this off, the firm decide to do away with its 401k plan yesterday. The entire thing! Doesn’t really give you much incentive to stay huh? But the kicker is I have only been here about 5 months so I would hate to have another notch on the resume. Then, ironically enough, I get a call from another firm today wanting to interview me for a position I applied for months back! So now a dilemma…if I am offered the job do I take it, making another job listing on the resume? What if it’s worse? Not to mention that my husband and I would like to move away from Charlotte next year so I could potentially be leaving then. So stay here and be miserable for another year? Take the new job if it’s offered and don’t worry about the resume? Basically, be happy today and worry about tomorrow, well, tomorrow? Or be practical and stay with it, knowing i can do better? Where did I put that damn crystal ball….

Where does it go?

So I have this friend who has two children and she has been blessed to be able to stay home with them. Her husband is a teacher. How in god's name do they afford this????? My husband and I both work and make semi-decent money but yet we never have any of it to spend!!! Granted we do have some of that good ole American credit card debt and those beneficial student loans but no more than I would think other Americans have. I obviously have no clue how much debt others have and what bills they pay each month but I just don't get how other people have so much more disposable income than my husband and I?! How does she get to stay home with her kids and still feed them? How do others take trips and go to expensive dinners and shop and go to expensive festivals and concerts, etc, etc, etc! The Shell station down the street is still open. Maybe I should consider a few of those education-funding lottery tickets.....

What happened to frienship?

To me, friendship is an honor and a gift and a privilege. There are millions upon billions of people in this world and you come across quite a few of them on a daily basis, so to choose a few select "friends" out of those people is pretty fantastic. That being said, why do we take advantage of each other and even more so of our "friends"???? Why do we take these special people for granted so easily!!!

I use the term "friend" with the quoty fingers because I don't think you automatically get the title just by hanging out with someone and having a few beers every other weekend or so. A true friend would be there for you no matter what happens, and I do mean no matter what...all inclusive...jail time, breakups, new boyfriend, new house, a boring Tuesday. A true friend would give you the honest, unfiltered advice that you may hate to hear but know is true. A true friend would not only remember your birthday (and I mean calling at midnight and starting the plans to celebrate months before) but that friend would also remember your anniversary, your dog's birthday, and maybe even the first day you started your job! A true friend would tell you when you look absolutely gorgeous and when those pants really do make your butt look big! A true friend would never even consider for a moment talking about you behind your back....he/she wouldn't need to because you talk about your issues upfront instead of to other "friends" (notice the quoty fingers). And a true friend is like a sister but more, because you chose this person and you each know that and you don't forget how lucky you are!

I have quite a few "friends" in my life. I get text messages on my birthday and the standard group text on the other holidays through the year...but I never seem to hear from them on my anniversary. I am positive that none of them know how old my dogs are, much less their birthdays, and I am pretty sure that the majority of them don't even know where I work or what I do. None of this would be an issue at all, I would just accept them as "friends" and not expect anything more, but the bad/sad thing is that some of them are under the impression that they are friends - without the quoty fingers. I thought the same thing of them...until they proved me wrong. Figuring out that a friend is actually a "friend" is a tough pill to swallow to say the least. I think it's worse than losing a significant other because even when you're in a good relationship, there's still a very, very tiny part of you that knows there's a possibility of it ending. With a friendship, you don't expect that. The part of your heart that rarely hurts or gets broken is the one that goes and that's a killer, at least for me. I cannot even begin to express through words how it has felt for me. To be totally taken for granted and almost used by someone you thought was a friend. To feel like you don't matter to someone who is important to you is a devastating blow. To feel replaced and cast aside is something beyond words. To think you can trust someone and then find out you can't is mindblowing. And the worst part is feeling like a total fool for being that friend to your now "friend". For knowing that you did those things for that person that take the quoty fingers away and not getting that back. You're left feeling stupid and lonely and for me, wondering "what's the point in even trying?!"

So I guess the point is, will I ever be able to have that friend??? Is it something that I need to just accept that I will not be privileged to in my life? Are my standards too high? I have had quite a few what I thought to be friends that are now "friends" or not around at all anymore. I honestly cannot keep making friends that turn into "friends"! Maybe I should start taking applications and doing interviews before that first shopping trip or drink after work? Maybe check references? So for those of you that actually read this, just take it to heart and try to be a FRIEND...no quoty fingers allowed!!!