Losing the love of your life...

My Grandfather is 84 years old and unfortunately, not in very good health. He has been through being shot in the head in WWII where only his helmet saved his life, cancer, heart surgery, diabetes, etc, etc. He is a strong, humorous, admirable man. Well today he lost someone who we all consider to be, aside from my Grandmother, the love of his life, his sweet Chihuahua, Susie.
Susie (full name being "Brown-eyed Susie" because she had a brown patch of hair around one eye and that's my Grandfather's sense of humor) was one of those Chihuahuas that was only sweet to the people she knew or liked. She growled at my cousin every time she walked in the room! My aunt and I were the only ones besides my Grandfather that could hold and snuggle with her. I LOVED that dog!!! She would nuzzle all over my neck and kiss my nose, snorting the whole time! In fact, I held her just yesterday while she did this, leaving white hair all over me, with no complaints from me! Well today she died of heart failure on the way to the vet. She was only eight years old and dearly, dearly loved!!!!
My other cousin's Chihuahua came from the same puppy mill as Susie (we didn't know it was that at the time). She died earlier this year of something similar and untimely. My point in mentioning this is to remind and beg all of you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE consider where you buy your dogs!!!!! If you can, adopt but PLEASE do not support these puppy mills!!!! These dogs were inbred, which is the reason for their poor health! I don't mean to preach but this has to stop!
I'll step off of my soap box and just ask for your prayers for my Grandfather and his broken heart! If you know of a dog that would love him and enjoy being loved by him, please let me know!

What the hell are we going to do for New Years?

I figured I would just get right to the point with that title. Why beat around the bush?! But seriously, what the hell are we going to do???? It's a lot of pressure deciding what to do. Supposedly what you're doing at midnight is what you will be doing for the majority of the year....or something like that. I don't know how true that is but it is an important night for "plans". Your cool quotient rides a little bit on that. Deny it all you want but if you're sitting at home watching Dick and nodding off on the couch at 11:30, you feel a little less "cool". But how "cool" is it to pay $30 (and up!!!) to get into a bar that was free to get into last week, only to push your way through hundreds of strangers to get a $5 beer every hour or so that you actually manage to get the bartender's attention?!?! You could have a party at someone's house.... too many people, and it's cops showing up and neighbors pissed off...too few people, and you're back to that nodding off with Dick thing. So what do you do?????????????

For those of you who may not know, I live in Charlotte, NC. We have plenty of bars and cool restaurants to choose from. I have a decent amount of people I know that live here......yet here we are two weeks away from New Years Eve and I have nothing planned! My husband and I were invited to a friend's get together but she lives kind of far out from us, which would put us out with the crazies. We like to stay as close to where we live as we can....it just cuts down on the potential for drama. But we do live in a great area with close proximity to lots of choices ($15 cab ride to uptown) so we're not limited there.....it just brings us back to the "cool" but expensive bar. We have a few people that are planning to join us...once we all decide what to do....but we're not sure that we have enough to have that party that falls between the pissed off neighbors and nodding off number. None of us have children yet so we want to do something fun that hopefully involves a decent amount of alcohol while we still can!
So again I ask, what do we do??? What are your plans? What have you done in the past? If you didn't have kids now what would you do? Any suggestions, ideas, invites ;-), recommendations would be greatly appreciated....

Romantic/Sexy/Hot/Insert your own adjective songs

My husband and I make a weekend mountain trip every December. We've been making this trip since before we were married so this year marks the 4th annual. We always make sure we have some sort of hot tub and/or jacuzzi where we stay because that defines relaxation for us.....and it's....well.....romantic....I'll leave it at that. Music adds to this romantic mood so we always make a CD/playlist to listen to. This year I am stuck! I can't find the old cd's we used to use (first year we have MP3 players) and for the life of me, I can't remember what songs we usually include. I tried to Google this topic last night and found myself feeling very.....disturbed...to say the least! (People really listen to "Particle Man" by They Might be Giants for this sort of occassion???)
SO....I need ideas!!! Tell me what you like, what you recommend, what you have on your own special playlist. I don't like cheesy (one I saw was "Up Where We Belong" ewww) or cliche ("Let's Get It On") or dirty ("Freak Me" Silk)
Sultry and sexy is what we want.....("Anytime Anyplace" Janet Jackson...."Feelin' Love" Paula Cole - HOT song if you've never heard it)
Ideas people......keep 'em coming!

It's Chrimmus!!!!

I LOVE the holidays!!! No really, I LOVE the Holidays!!!! As of next week I will officially become a 10 year old (well..more of one)! I actually giggle at stuff and clap my hands! (Go ahead and laugh at me, I don't care) I just love everything about it....it's cold outside and there's always that slight possibility of snow, unlike some people I love the music and don't get tired of it, I google the holiday tv schedule about two months out so that I don't miss Charlie Brown or Frosty not to mention the ABC Family made for tv holiday movie (the one with Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez where she kidnaps him is really cute...and Three Days is great too!), I love to bake anyway but now I actually get to give my baked goods as gifts and not look odd, everything is sparkly and pretty......etc, etc, etc (do you want me to go on? yeah I didn't think so)
Anway, there's really no major point to any of this....just thought I would get my excitement out before I just burst and tinsel flies everywhere. If anybody wants to have a "baking day", "shopping day", "decorating day" etc, etc I am totally up for it, just let me know when and where!!!

My one election thought

I only have one comment on the results of this publicity monster that some called an election...I HOPE that Barack Obama brings the CHANGE that he is promising!!!
But just in case he doesn't, I voted for McCain :-)

Job or not to job?!

I went to USC and got a Bachelors Degree. Then I went back to school and got my Paralegal Certificate. All so I could work as a %#@& secretary!!!!!!
I got a job as a Legal Assistant with a law firm because I figured it would at least say law firm on my resume, even if it was Legal Assistant instead of Paralegal. Little did I know I would spend my ENTIRE DAY either doing nothing at all or typing dictated letters!!! I am doing the job someone that barely graduated high school could handle! I need absolutely no degree or skill level (besides typing) to do this job, much less the TWO degrees that I have! It infuriates me that I was even called in to interview for this job, as it is clearly below the skill level that I have. This should have been obvious by my resume with the significant work experience that I have, not to mention the 3.9 GPA I had in my Paralegal program! I am not trying to sound pompous, but nobody should ever work a job that they are too qualified for because you end the day feeling unfulfilled and under-stimulated, turning your mind into mush because you aren’t challenged! You teachers know this well when you see it in a student…they start to act out and get annoyed when you ask them to do anything because they’re so bored! This is what I am turning into!!!
I could probably deal with this if I maybe had great pay or fantastic co-workers…I have neither! I won’t elaborate on the pay, but my office consists of me and two attorneys. That’s it. Yep, three people. So no lunch dates or drinks after work or gift exchanges for the holidays, etc, etc. You can’t exactly have a holiday party with three people and their spouses. I really didn’t think I would mind this but I really, really do! Nobody to gossip with at work?! Can you imagine?!?!?!
To top all of this off, the firm decide to do away with its 401k plan yesterday. The entire thing! Doesn’t really give you much incentive to stay huh? But the kicker is I have only been here about 5 months so I would hate to have another notch on the resume. Then, ironically enough, I get a call from another firm today wanting to interview me for a position I applied for months back! So now a dilemma…if I am offered the job do I take it, making another job listing on the resume? What if it’s worse? Not to mention that my husband and I would like to move away from Charlotte next year so I could potentially be leaving then. So stay here and be miserable for another year? Take the new job if it’s offered and don’t worry about the resume? Basically, be happy today and worry about tomorrow, well, tomorrow? Or be practical and stay with it, knowing i can do better? Where did I put that damn crystal ball….

Where does it go?

So I have this friend who has two children and she has been blessed to be able to stay home with them. Her husband is a teacher. How in god's name do they afford this????? My husband and I both work and make semi-decent money but yet we never have any of it to spend!!! Granted we do have some of that good ole American credit card debt and those beneficial student loans but no more than I would think other Americans have. I obviously have no clue how much debt others have and what bills they pay each month but I just don't get how other people have so much more disposable income than my husband and I?! How does she get to stay home with her kids and still feed them? How do others take trips and go to expensive dinners and shop and go to expensive festivals and concerts, etc, etc, etc! The Shell station down the street is still open. Maybe I should consider a few of those education-funding lottery tickets.....

What happened to frienship?

To me, friendship is an honor and a gift and a privilege. There are millions upon billions of people in this world and you come across quite a few of them on a daily basis, so to choose a few select "friends" out of those people is pretty fantastic. That being said, why do we take advantage of each other and even more so of our "friends"???? Why do we take these special people for granted so easily!!!

I use the term "friend" with the quoty fingers because I don't think you automatically get the title just by hanging out with someone and having a few beers every other weekend or so. A true friend would be there for you no matter what happens, and I do mean no matter what...all inclusive...jail time, breakups, new boyfriend, new house, a boring Tuesday. A true friend would give you the honest, unfiltered advice that you may hate to hear but know is true. A true friend would not only remember your birthday (and I mean calling at midnight and starting the plans to celebrate months before) but that friend would also remember your anniversary, your dog's birthday, and maybe even the first day you started your job! A true friend would tell you when you look absolutely gorgeous and when those pants really do make your butt look big! A true friend would never even consider for a moment talking about you behind your back....he/she wouldn't need to because you talk about your issues upfront instead of to other "friends" (notice the quoty fingers). And a true friend is like a sister but more, because you chose this person and you each know that and you don't forget how lucky you are!

I have quite a few "friends" in my life. I get text messages on my birthday and the standard group text on the other holidays through the year...but I never seem to hear from them on my anniversary. I am positive that none of them know how old my dogs are, much less their birthdays, and I am pretty sure that the majority of them don't even know where I work or what I do. None of this would be an issue at all, I would just accept them as "friends" and not expect anything more, but the bad/sad thing is that some of them are under the impression that they are friends - without the quoty fingers. I thought the same thing of them...until they proved me wrong. Figuring out that a friend is actually a "friend" is a tough pill to swallow to say the least. I think it's worse than losing a significant other because even when you're in a good relationship, there's still a very, very tiny part of you that knows there's a possibility of it ending. With a friendship, you don't expect that. The part of your heart that rarely hurts or gets broken is the one that goes and that's a killer, at least for me. I cannot even begin to express through words how it has felt for me. To be totally taken for granted and almost used by someone you thought was a friend. To feel like you don't matter to someone who is important to you is a devastating blow. To feel replaced and cast aside is something beyond words. To think you can trust someone and then find out you can't is mindblowing. And the worst part is feeling like a total fool for being that friend to your now "friend". For knowing that you did those things for that person that take the quoty fingers away and not getting that back. You're left feeling stupid and lonely and for me, wondering "what's the point in even trying?!"

So I guess the point is, will I ever be able to have that friend??? Is it something that I need to just accept that I will not be privileged to in my life? Are my standards too high? I have had quite a few what I thought to be friends that are now "friends" or not around at all anymore. I honestly cannot keep making friends that turn into "friends"! Maybe I should start taking applications and doing interviews before that first shopping trip or drink after work? Maybe check references? So for those of you that actually read this, just take it to heart and try to be a FRIEND...no quoty fingers allowed!!!